Coke anyone?*

Something I haven’t talked about much yet, is the upcoming missions trip Ben and I are leading over the March Break.  We’re taking a group of high school students from our church down to the Dominican Republic for a week of construction, teaching and hanging out with kids at the Lighthouse School.  I’m sure I’ll have lots to say about our trip and what we did, learned and experienced, but this post isn’t really about that.

As one of the fundraisers for our trip, we challenged our church to take a Water Challenge. Because the community where we are going doesn’t have access to clean water, the school we’re helping out with has built a water filtration system that services the community, providing clean water to thousands of people who would otherwise go without.  So as a way to get our entire church on board, and help everyone to feel a part of this mission team, we challenged them to go the entire month of January drinking only water.  Any money they saved on other drinks (coffees, cokes, beers, etc), they would then donate towards our trip.  The other side of the challenge was that it was to serve as a reminder that even the water from our tap is SUCH a blessing.  (oh, and I totally ripped this idea off of Cait, who did this exact same thing a while ago for Blood Water Mission.  If you don’t read her blog already, you should.  Go ahead…click her link for a moment…I can wait)

Anyway, because we challenged our church to do it, it only made sense that we did it too.  And now that it’s f-i-n-a-l-l-y February, I have some reflections on the month and how it all went.

1. I really don’t like being the bad guy:  People at our church who didn’t do the challenge/gave up, all of the sudden felt the need to hide every drink from me that wasn’t water.  I personally didn’t care – it’s not about me – but people felt compelled to justify any drink they had in front of me.
2. I really like coke/carbonated beverages.  I always knew this, but didn’t realize how much it really completed a meal for me, until I couldn’t have one.
3. This also meant I didn’t eat fast food all month, since having a warm, salty crispy plate of fries weren’t as satisfying washed down with water. Good for my gut, good for my wallet.  A win-win if you ask me.
   
4. It is incredible how creative people can get when “rules” are placed in front of them.  I had one person tell me they just had to have the milk in their fridge because it would go bad, and well, wouldn’t that be worse and more wasteful?  I had another person tell me they would have any drinks bought for them by other people, since they didn’t have to fork out the money themselves.
5. That led me to think about the other things in life that we as Christians make legalistic, when God’s intention for things was so much more free.  The whole point of this  challenge was to make people mindful of the good things we have, get them to pray for our trip and hopefully raise a little money in the process.  People got so caught up in coming up with creative ways to get a coffee/not feel guilty about failing, I think some of the point was lost.  I wonder how often I do that with God: take something he intended to be so good (example: times alone with him in devotions), and just spend my time coming up with rules of how I should do it, and justifications on why I didn’t do it. And then when I don’t do it, I avoid Him for a while because I feel guilty that I didn’t get it quite right.
   
6. That being said, it was really cool to see people try hard at something that I think was a struggle.  Not everyone did it, and of those that did, not everyone succeeded completely, but it was really cool to see people try.
7. I couldn’t believe how much a drink (not referring to alcohol here, although I do love a good glass of wine) could satisfy me.  It made social hang outs more fun, it made food taste better, and just made me content.  I’m kind of glad I had to actually stop and think about it for a month, because I don’t really want food or drink to dictate how I feel.
8. That being said however, I feel I should confess that Ben and I got a gift certificate for the Keg, and intentionally held off spending it until January passed, since neither of us could bring ourselves to enjoy a quality steak meal with a lame glass of water.
   
9. I peed a lot more.
10. Umm, I can’t think of any other reflections, but kind of feel dumb ending this list with pee….

All in all, it was a great month. It led to good conversations, a neat sense of camaraderie amongst those who stuck it out until the end, and we raised about $1000 in total, which far exceeded my expectations for the challenge.  I would do it again, but just give me a few month to re-stock my blood stream with the carbonated goodness of pop.

*the drink, not the drug (that’s for you Dave, in case you need the clarification)

Soundtrack Of My Life: Vol. 3 – In Da Club, 50 Cent

I realize that by posting this, I may be drastically lowering my reputation (or maybe raising it if you’re a fan of Fiddy Cent), but the point of these Soundtrack posts aren’t to make me look intelligent, classy, cultured or “hip and with it”, but rather to share with you pieces of my life; memories that are evoked when I hear certain songs. (The explanation for these posts is found in Vol 1.  And here is Vol. 2)

So, to be perfectly honest, I hesitated in putting this one in here.  I mean, surely there are songs in my life that have less f-bombs than this one, and really, I’m pretty sure I could share a story or two tied to a song that hasn’t replaced the word “the” with the ever so popular gangsta phrasing of “da”, but nevertheless, here it is.  (And no I won’t post a youtube link this time…you can check it out if you feel so inclined)

Something that I don’t think I’ve talked about much on this site is the 6 summers I spent working for Athletes in Action.  As far as summer jobs go, this one pretty much took the cake.  I got to spend all summer outside, soaking up sun, running sports camps and telling kids about Jesus.  In the later years, I worked as a director, spending the months of May and June prepping for camps, travelling throughout Ontario to different schools to do school assemblies and in general, just having a great time.  One year, I managed to convince several of my friends to work for AIA, and 3 of us ended up being directors. (Christy – who I’ve talked about several times before,  and Adrian.) (And joined by a fourth friend, Brent, in July)

Oh my friends, these days were sweet.  Our boss was pretty chill about “work hours”, and because we knew things would drastically pick up once camps started in July, we were ok being a bit more lax in May and June.We would roll into the office around 10am, and often be back on our way home at 3.  Because my house was the most central to our head office, they lived at my house for those months as well.

Adrian was our chauffeur (mostly by default since Christy and I didn’t have our own wheels), and he happened to have a mix CD permanently in his player during our drives.  One of the songs on there happened to be In Da Club.  The irony of this was that all three of us are pretty white, tame, Christian kids, but we’d bust out our inner gangsta as best we could each time this song would come on.  The song met us everywhere we went that summer: every car ride, on the radio at camps, as the intro song at the Jays game where we scored sweet seats for being AIA directors.  And each time, there we were, nodding our heads like we knew exactly what it was like to sip Bacardi like it’s our birthday.

And now, 7 years later, every.single.time I hear that song, I’m transported back to the summer of ’03.  And with that, I’m flooded with memories of another summer of amazing camps, intense spiritual growth, and the solidification of friendships that to this day are tight.

We have jokes that still make us grin – from the time we shaved Adrian’s chest hair into an X, to the time we went shopping in the states and were so desperate to play Settlers of Catan (and our hotel room didn’t have a table big enough), that Adrian pulled the floor out of his car trunk and dragged it inside. One time, Paul Henderson (who worked for AIA), prayed that Christy and I would find great husbands during staff devotions one morning, and the joke still stands that nothing can make a girl feel more like a single loser than the greatest hockey legend in the country feeling compelled to pray that we’d find companions.  Or the times we’d come home after a “hard day at the office”, crash in my parents’ living room and enjoy our almost daily snack of Fruitopia, and my infamous chocolate, chocolate, chocolate chip squares. (Aptly named by Adrian)

This past weekend, Ben and I spent a day up at a cottage with Christy, Brent and Adrian.  (And one other couple) Our group has grown a bit – we’re all married, Brent has a kid, we all have jobs and are talking about things like buying houses, having kids, and where life has taken us.  But other than being 7 years older, not much has changed. We still harass each other like we’re related, play games together, and in fact, Adrian even said later Saturday night “you know Karmyn, every time I hear In Da Club, I think of that summer”.  And I guess that’s why, despite profanities, and promoting a lifestyle I don’t agree with, I wanted to put this one in here.  It really does serve as a reminder of the summers that shaped me.  Working for AIA grew me in so many areas, as an athlete, as a leader, and as a follower of Christ.

Ben and I are blessed with many pockets of good friends, and those three (and their spouses) are one of them. And so, every time good ol’ In Da Club comes on the radio, I think of these people, those summers, and the way we would  roll down our windows, soak up the sun, crank the volume, and try and pretend we were legit thugs on the drives home from the office.

Brent, Adrian, Christy and their spouses, visiting at our place this summer.

Perhaps I should start going to bed earlier…

You know those days when you wake up and you have THE perfect head groove in your pillow? I’m not sure why it doesn’t happen every day, but it doesn’t.  It’s those mornings when you wake up and your head just fits PERFECTLY in your pillow, and it’s so soft and warm on your cheeks.  It’s like your pillow worked extra hard all night to make sure your head felt it’s most comfortable.

It’s on days like this that I really don’t like to get up.  I’m not what people would call “a morning person”, so even on the best of days, rolling out of bed is usually a chore.

Well, today was one of those days. Mondays are my day off, so usually I don’t have to worry so much about getting up at the crack of dawn (ha! Like that ever happens). But today I’d agreed to meet some people at my church to load up the mounds of stuff we’d collected for Haiti.  I thought it would be a quick 20 minutes and then I would just head back home and slip right back into my cozy haven of love.

What I didn’t anticipate was having a perfect head-groove pillow day.  That made it extra hard to get up early, even if I was only going to be up for half an hour at the most.   As I got up, found some crumpled clothes on the floor to throw on, tried my hardest to open my eyes, I audibly said to my bed “make sure you stay this comfortable…I’ll be right back.”

Umm, yeah.  If that’s not an indicator that perhaps I should get over my need for sleeping in, I don’t know what is.

In my defense it was a perfect head-groove-in-the-pillow morning…

Haiti

Well, unless you live under a rock, I’m sure you’re well aware of the tragedy to strike Haiti this week.  I’m not sure the word devastating even begins to cover the magnitude of what happened.

I have no words of wisdom, in fact, I don’t even really have any articulate thoughts.  But if you live in my area, I do have a way you can help if you’re still figuring out how you can respond.  Our church has a connection to a shipping company that will be sending supplies down on Tuesday.  If you have any of the following items and can get them to me by Monday (the 18th), we can include them in the shipment:

• Bedding
• Sleeping bags
• Blankets
• Clean clothes of any kind
• Shoes
• non-perishable food items
• Soap (not liquid)

You can comment or email me and we can figure out how to get the stuff from you to me. Join me in praying for peace, healing and comfort for Haiti will you?

2009: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

I realize we’re an entire week into 2010, and this post is SO 2009, but I did want to recap the year, and take a look at the places we went, the things we did and just everyday normal life that happened in between.  So, for your reading pleasure, I give you 2009: The Recap

January: Said goodbye to these two (Ben’s brother and his wife, Jo and Sarah), as they headed out for a year of serving in Uganda. (But they come home in 9 days!! Woohoo!)

 

Also? Ben grew a gross moustache.  Little did I know, this wouldn’t be the last time pedophile-like hair creeped onto his face.

February: Oh February, you started off so well, and then, well, got so crappy.  We were flooded out of our apartment, were homeless for 3 weeks, totalled a car, and in general, were pushed to our brim. 

March: But then came sweet March, and with March, came Mexico.  We enjoyed such a wonderful, much-needed vacation and I find myself wishing we could go back. It was a welcome break from all that we were in the midst of dealing with.

April: By April, we had moved into a new apartment, but because of our busy work/life schedules, hadn’t really unpacked much. This was another month of busyness, chaos, and no couches.  But, April also held one of our youth retreats, where we all experienced God so intimately, and it still remains a highlight of my youth career – watching students let go of identities that weighed them down from being who God truly wanted them to be.

May:  We officially became a one-car family. We sold my car (after the wheel flew off while I was driving) and did our best to coordinate our schedules to work around only one set of wheels.  It was a fun challenge for us and well, let’s just say I got really good at riding my bike.

June: We celebrated three whole years of marriage!  (go us!)  We went to Pittsburgh to commemorate this occasion for a mini-holiday.

 

July: I headed up north to Big Trout Lake for 2 weeks to help run a kids camp at a First Nations Community with my church.  My time here was rich and my heart exploded for these people.  

August: More traveling! Off to Nova Scotia to visit the family!  We couldn’t have asked for better weather and spent much of our time outside, hiking, kayaking, playing soccer, swimming and just being with the people we love so dearly.  We came home, unpacked, and then packed up again for a 4 day canoe trip through Algonquin.  Also an amazing trip.  We couldn’t have asked for better weather and spent long, hard, rewarding days canoeing through some of the most beautiful creation I’ve seen. We also managed to get in three, quality hang outs with three different groups of friends we love dearly. 

September:  We found out we may have to move again.  Our landlords were putting their house on the market, so, for the third time in a year, we faced the possibility of moving AGAIN.  This was discouraging and frustrating for us. 

October: Nothing much exciting happened. Our month was filled with work, prepping for youth events, getting kicked out of our house at least 4 hours a week for showings, and good times with good friends. 

November: We had our youth retreat, Ben grew another gross moustache, we avoided getting H1N1 and we continued to be kicked out of our place several hours each week for showings.  I also barfed for the first time in 4 years.  (Noteworthy, don’t you think?)

December: Our lives were filled with parties.  But don’t get too excited, I had to plan/throw 3 of them because of my job, so it’s not like I’m really that popular.  We spent this month celebrating.  All of our times with friends and family, youth and co-workers was SO good, and I often would come home from an event and feel full to the brim with blessing.  And I kind of think that sums up our year.  Yeah, looking back, there was a lot of stress, anxiety and stuff we never would want to go through again, but it really did draw us closer to God, and isn’t that the best thing in any situation?  We have GREAT friends, AMAZING family, WONDERFUL jobs (the fact that we even have jobs is a blessing) and each other.  2009, you were good.  

  

 

(oh, and they took the house off the market on Dec 24^th….so we don’t have to move!)

(annnnd, between the time I wrote this post and hit “publish”, we  found out last night that they are putting the house BACK on the market….so scratch that…back to the gong show)

Merry Christmas!

I hope you are in the midst of having a wonder-filled Christmas, as you celebrate with family and friends.  I hope you are able to experience the rest, peace and love that Christ came to bring. And I hope that the joy of a relationship with God is something you experience this season. 

Love to you and your family,

Karmyn

Because Sometimes, You Just Have to Laugh at Yourself

I am fully aware that I can pretty much control what goes on this blog.  I can write about all the good things in my life, I can brag about how great my husband is, and I can put up pictures that only show my good side.  Really, if I wanted, I could make you think my life is pretty close to perfect.

I hope I don’t do that.  Whether I know you or whether you stumbled across this blog somehow and have kept reading over the months, I really don’t want you to think that we have it all together, and that I always have my hair done and that me and Ben never fight. (Because we do! And they can be doozies!)  Most of the time, yes, things are really good, but just like your own life, there are days where I look and feel terrible. 

So as an ode to being authentic, I thought I’d share this little story with you.  A few years ago (right around Christmas, if I remember correctly), I had a big ol’ zit on my face.  But it wasn’t just in the normal spot like my cheek or forehead, this one, was in my nose.  The best part? It was a whitehead.  A BIG whitehead.  Big enough that it probably looked like I had a permanent booger just resting in the nook of my nostril.  (But people were too polite to tell me I guess). 

This fascinated me.  I don’t know too many people that get zits in their nose, and a whitehead at that.  I kept showing people (because let’s be honest, I knew they could already see it), I kept making Ben look at it, and I kept staring at it, watching it get bigger and bigger.  So finally, I did what any other self respecting person would have done.  I took a picture of it:

I don’t know what makes me laugh more.  The fact that I took a picture of it, or the fact that 3 years later I still have it and am posting it for all you to see.

You’re welcome.

My, How Time Flies

This Christmas will be Ben and my’s 4th Christmas together as a married couple. (Sidenote – can any English majors out there PLEASE tell me how you really say the sentence “Ben and my’s…”?  Should I be saying “my and Ben’s”? “Me and Ben’s”?  I never know what to say…)

Anyway, as I was saying, it will our fourth Christmas together, which in the grand scheme of life really isn’t a whole lot of time together, but even still, I’ve found myself reminiscing over the “early years” of our marriage. (this is where everyone who’s been married 20+years starts laughing at my perspective).   This is really the first year where I’ve found myself saying “remember back when we were first married…”

I’ll readily admit that I reminisce ALL.THE.TIME. When we go visit my parents, I’ll often be thinking to myself how many memories I have of that place: driving by my highschool, visiting old friends, going back to our favourite restaurants.  Thinking of my days at Redeemer ALWAYS bring back so many memories of the antics we were up up to, the places we’d go, the friends I made.  And now that I’m married, I’ve been realizing that I’ve reached a reminiscent stage in that phase of my life as well.   Whenever we go to Hamilton to visit friends, I find myself saying “* sigh* – remember how good it was when we lived here when we were first married?”  When I look at pictures of places we’ve been and trips we’ve taken, I’m often reminded of our times and experiences there as a couple. 

And now that it’s Christmas, I again, have been struck with the “remember when?” bug.  This season has seemed to bring that out as Ben and I carve out our own traditions and four years in, they really are traditions.  Being married is starting to not feel so “new” and as wonderful and comfortable as that is, sometimes it’s nice to just reminisce and think back to the places we’ve been, the friends we’ve hung out with, the getaways we’ve taken, the stories we’ve made when we were “newlyweds”. 

So, reminisce with me, will you, as we take a look at the past 3.5 years together.  And can we also lament the fact that my gray hairs were much more non-existent three point five years ago?  And Ben had glasses! Sometimes I forget that he ever wore those things! Especially the orange pair that ALWAYS got a comment wherever we went.  I know we mostly just look the same, but for me, looking at these pictures, I think we look so young!

June ‘06.  In Europe 2 weeks after we got married .  We took our honeymoon with the other 46 Bokma’s in Holland (And had an AMAZING time) 

Christmas ‘06 -Our first Christmas all married.

Fall ‘07 – one of our MANY hikes

Nov. ‘07 – Ben’s 25th birthday – I suprised him with a getaway to NY state for a few days.  We stayed in a B&B, slept in, watched movies, ate out at fancy places and enjoyed a sweet jacuzzi.

Christmas ‘07 – On yet another hike

Jan ‘08 At  my friend Julia’s wedding

Fall ‘08….at the Sound of Music…just in case you couldn’t tell…

March ‘09 – Our trip to Cancun

Summer ‘09 – Our trip to Pittsburgh (annnd the gray hairs are a bit more obvious from here on in…)

Well, I’ve probably subjected you to about 10 more pictures of Ben and I than you cared to see.  (So thanks for scrolling allllll the way to the end).  I know enough about myself to know that I’ll probably always reminisce at the past.  And even in 2 years, I’ll probably look back on THIS Christmas and have my own reminiscings of this time.  But until that comes, it’s good to take some time at look at where we were and how good it really was.

Tis the Season

Well, Christmas is a mere 15 days away.  Do you want to know how I know that? Well, yes, because I totally looked at the calendar and did a little mental math (I’m not just a pretty face you know).  But I can also tell that Christmas is just around the corner because of the obscene amount of parties taking place.   Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Christmas, and I especially love that the focus isn’t really on presents, but rather, people and getting to go to events that bring these people together, but this week alone I have 5 Christmas parties, every day from Wednesday to Sunday.  Add onto that one the Sr. high party we had last Friday and the other staff party we have NEXT Sunday, and you have one heckuva busy schedule.

But it’s good. Really good.  It helps to build the anticipation of such a great holiday, and my heart is often swelled throughout this month as I get to laugh with friends, watch relationships grow deeper and just be with them.  (It doesn’t hurt that said “being” usually involves great food, and delicious drinks…)

 It does have me thinking though, why we try so hard to cram everything into 3 weeks.  I’m just as guilty of it as the next person, often finding myself saying “we should try and see each other one more time before Christmas”…and before you know it, you have every night of the month booked up. 

I say we all agree to extend the “holiday season” until the end of January. Let’s face it.  January sucks. It’s blah, boring and bleak and could probably use a few get togethers of family and friends.  Wouldn’t it make Christmas less hectic not having to go out every night of the week? Knowing you could stretch out your hang outs, get togethers and dinner parties?

So who’s with me? Wanna have a party in January?

Better late than never right?

We’ve been busy around these parts.  Mostly with really good things, but busy none the less.  It was Ben’s birthday last week, and I’ve been wanting to post all about him, and the occasion of a birthday….but I haven’t yet.  Which is kind of why this blog has sat untouched for a while.  Since his birthday, there’s been lots of good stuff to talk about, but if you’re like me, you get caught in this desire to want to post things in chronological order (can we say anal?), so it’s held me up from writing anything else. 

So, I’m compromising.  This won’t be the meaningful, contemplative, sappy post about how much I looooove Ben, but at least we’ll get caught up here, and you can see some pictures of the sweet part-ay we had for him.

Ben and I are blessed with an incredible network of friends, and so we spent some time with some of them Monday night celebrating the fact that Ben is now 27.  Secretly, I was celebrating the fact that I am no longer robbing the cradle.  We ate well, we laughed, we played games and we followed Ben’s orders, since in his words “This is my party – you’ll do what I say”. 

The spread:

Thanks to Rachel for helping me put it all together!

And since you’ve all been DYING to see the dirty moustache that has plagued me for the entire month of November – here you go you rubber neckers.  

 

The hat is courtesy of Neil and Karen, as a birthday gift.  It’s actually a pretty sweet hat, but Ben kind of tarnished it for me when he decided that it made his moustache look even sweeter. (That’s Neil in the picture…he’s usually Ben’s partner in crime when we get together.  Those 2 can cause a lot of ruckus…)

One of Ben’s orders was that he wanted to watch the girls play Dutch Blitz.  So, we did.  I think he was hoping it would turn into an all out catfight, since we’re all pretty competitive, but we stayed pretty civil. 

 

We played Guesstures, which always produces several good pictures:

For Ben’s actual birthday, we were working opposite hours, so we didn’t get to see too much of each other, but managed to squeeze in an hour around dinner to open presents, play a game and just be together. 

Ok, now I know I said I wasn’t gonna get sappy – but as I write this, a few thoughts come to mind about Ben that I really want to share.  I know not everyone that reads this blog knows Ben personally, and I just want to say that someday, I really hope you get the chance to. 

People LOVE Ben.  And one of my favourite things to do is to sit back and just watch people admire him.  I often get told how much Ben cares for other people.  He asks great questions that really show how much he cares.  He will often ask people if he can pray for them.  He is SO intentional about calling people up and checking in on them. 

He is silly and that encourages me to lighten up sometimes.  Yes, sometimes it’s embarassing, but in a “oh gosh, I have to roll my eyes because my husband is making a really loud siren noise in public”.  And it’s ok.  His silliness ultimately ends up bringing a smile to my face and I realize just how much I love him for his ridiculousness. 

He pushes me to be a better person on SO many levels.  There really isn’t enough space to list all the ways.

Lately, we have been having such a rich season of marriage. We’ve laughed A LOT, we’ve grown deeper spiritually, and we’ve been feeling the love that we commited to each other when we got married.  I know a large reason for this is that Ben works so hard at our relationship.  He loves me deeply and in tangible ways.  He is SO patient with me and my selfishness.  He acknowledges when I know better, and gently helps me to see when it’s him who is right.   It brought me such joy to celebrate another year of his life with him and really, for one of the first times since being together, I think I got really excited for us to grow old together.  I know that sounds funny right? Like, shouldn’t I have always been picturing us being together forever? And yeah, of course I have.  I wouldn’t have married him if I didn’t think this was a forever thing. But I think that up until just recently, I never really imagined what that could look like.  But when I thought about the joy that he brings me, and the ways that he loves me, it just made me excited for the next 60 years. 

So, happy birthday Benjy.  Gosh, am I ever glad you were born.