Two

Two years ago today I woke up in a hotel in Niagara Falls with a knot in my stomach, and baggy eyes after too little sleep.  It didn’t matter though, because the adrenaline was already pumping and I knew it was going to be a perfect day.  The sun was shining, I was surrounded by 5 of my closest girlfriends, and I was going to get married.

 

 

 

The day started off great, with breakfast with my girls and all of my relatives.  After a relaxing time of catching up, it was time to get ready.  The morning flew by, and I did my best to soak in every minute of what was happening around me. Before I knew it however, we were back at the hotel, adding the finishing touches to our makeup, putting on our dresses and my trying my best not to cry just yet.

  

 

I remember Dad, Dallas and Dustin coming up to the hotel room, and the smile that came across my dad’s face.  I also remember everyone leaving to go get the cars pulled around, and mom and I having one last moment with just the two of us.

 

It was then off to pictures.  Ben and I chose to do our pictures before the ceremony, and we had picked out a spot where he could be waiting for me to come and so we could have that moment of seeing each other for the first time. 

 

Pictures came and went, and then it was finally time to get married.  I remember going up the back stairs all secret like.  I remember the growing excitement and knot that my stomach had created as each of my girls walked down the aisle, knowing my turn was coming.  And then, it was just me and dad, linked arm in arm and I turned to him and asked “are you ready?”  He just smiled and in a futile attempt, I choked back tears.

 

To me, our ceremony was perfect.  We had those we loved surrounding us and a part of the ceremony. We sang worship songs that held so much meaning. We heard scripture that our parents picked out, and read for us. We said vows we wrote ourselves and earnestly meant every word.  We washed each other’s feet in the example of Jesus, and we became husband and wife.

 

To Ben,

I love you.  Thanks for doing this marriage thing with me. I know when we got married, and I stood across from you holding your hands that when I said I love you, I meant it. But I think today, two years later, it means a lot more. I didn’t know that when I said I love you 2 years ago, it would include laying in bed with you at night, playing Phase 10 until I either win or get too tired to play anymore.  I didn’t know it would include acting so silly with each other that I’m certain our friends and family would find us crazy. 

 

I didn’t know it would include figuring out who would do what chores around our house, and the joys that would come in doing them for each other just to give the other person a break. Or that it would include figuring out how to fight fair, and that being mad at each other just isn’t very much fun, so we should talk it out and move on.  I didn’t know that it would mean that when you leave for work before me and I’m still sleeping, you make sure you lock the door, so no bad guys can get in, and I didn’t know it would mean that when you are a little bit late coming home from work, my imagination gets the better of me and I worry way too much about if you’re ok. 

 

I didn’t know that just when I thought I had a grasp on what loving you and being married to you means, you do something great and my heart grows a little bit bigger.  I also didn’t know that when I thought we finally had this marriage thing all figured out, life throws us a curveball, and we’re reminded that this relationship is  hard work.  I didn’t know that it would mean that I would fail you so often, and you would show me grace and forgiveness time after time after time, and I didn’t know that it would mean that I get to do the same for you.

 

I did know that when I said I love you, that it wasn’t a feeling, but a choice. A choice knowing that although the majority of the time it would be easy to be married to you, there would be days that would be really hard. And on those days, I would still choose this relationship.  Because it is worth too much to leave to chance.  And I will continue to choose this relationship each and every day.  Because this marriage is worth it.  You are worth it.

 

 

Happy Anniversary Benjy,

Love

Karmyn