Sticking it to the Man

There are many reasons why I love my husband, several of which, I won’t get into now.  But one of those reasons is because he is pretty shameless fearless when it comes to interacting with sales people, and the public in general. Sometimes this does cause me to wander away, usually down another aisle of whatever store we are in until, pretending I’m not with him until he’s done conversing with them, and usually walking away with a much better deal than what has been advertised.    I seriously can’t believe the things he’ll get away with asking for and it makes me want to be invisible for a few moments.

This week, our local grocery store has had some pretty sweet deals on meat.  **It’s at this point that I should probably warn you this is going to turn into a responsible mature adult blog post about getting a sweet deal on meat…..Oh how the 25 year old version of me that started this blog 9 years ago would hang her head in shame at what sorts of things I consider blog worthy now.**   So, anyway, I come home last night with a few hunks of pork sirloin, some chicken breast, and 4 packs of ground beef and comment on how great the deals were.  Ben agrees and says we should stock our freezer, and clean out their supply.  He’s not wrong – I mean we SHOULD take advantage of this – but I say to him “You’ll have to be the one to do that – I’d be way to embarrassed to load up with that many packs of ground beef.”

(You can see where this is going)

So tonight Ben comes home and shows me this receipt


 He was so proud that he saved almost exactly as much as he bought and said that this is his way to stick it to the man.  We also learned that when there is no max limit on a sale item, the unspoken maximum is 24. There’s a tid bit of information you never thought you’d need to know.   Take that, man.

Side note: If anyone is in need of some meat, I may know a freezer where you can get some.


Back At It

You know those daily memories that facebook sends you way?  The ones that show you pictures of your cute babies from 4 years ago when they weren’t almost 5 years old?  Today’s memory was about a blog post I wrote a few years back and shared on facebook, and so I clicked the link to re-read it.
I was caught down a rabbit hole of blog post, after blog post and was starkly reminded that I once loved this space. Writings that at the time seemed a little mundane, or pointless now seem rich with memories.  Things that probably actually were mundane at the time, that I never would have taken the time to journal about, or take a picture of, I now have noted somewhere to reminisce about the days, weeks and years that have passed.

It served as a great reminder that this place is important to me.  It’s not about readership, or goodness, even if I’ve taken time to edit each word (because YIKES, some of those posts had some rough grammar, folks) but that it’s about capturing the ordinary.

And so I’m back.  I don’t know what that means, or how often that will be, or even if I’ll stay at this web address. (Let’s be honest, it’s HIGH TIME to come up with something a little more creative than benandkarmyn no?)  But I am going to carve out the time to be here.
So stay with me, will you?  Welcome- if you’re new here! (I’m still baffled that people have faithful been reading, even with such long breaks), and THANK YOU to those that peek in here from time to time.  Say a hello and let me know you’re here.

Here’s to a new season of taking time, brain space and pause to make note of the life going on around us.

Sorry For the Late Reply

Oh you guys, this has seemed to be my MO the past 6 weeks. Every email, text and returned phone call has seemed to start with these 5 words, and while I truly AM sorry that I can’t seem to get back to people in a timely manner, I have also resigned myself to the fact that this is kind of how it is going to be for a while.

At the best of times, I am not an awesome cell phone owner.  I don’t love the insta-world we live in, and have always sort of balked at the idea of constantly needing to be attached to my phone for fear of missing a text or a phone call.  For this reason, we held onto a landline much longer than was probably financially wise (given that both our cell phones are paid for by our jobs…) and I still am getting used to needing to pull my phone OUT of my purse because someone might actually need to get a hold of me.  And yes, I do realize how old and crotchety this makes me all sound.

And now, since having Silas, free time is a wee bit of a luxury these days, and while I am aware that it really only takes thirty seconds to reply to a text, if only to say “got it – I’ll reply later”, sometimes that thirty seconds isn’t available until days end, hours after said text or email was sent.

So if you’ve received said apology from me in the past month and half, you can be assured of a few things: 1)My delayed reply is not indicative of how I feel about our relationship and 2) Yes, you probably DID just get trumped by a poopy diaper, or changing a spit up onesie.  (But again, let me assure you that I really don’t hold poop in higher regard that you)

While you’re waiting for me to answer you – you can just stare at this face for a while.


Party of Five

It is currently 12:48 am, and my entire family is sleeping.  I should probably also be sleeping, but that’s the funny thing about having a newborn – sometimes your sleep schedule is so out of whack, that even though you are most definitely supposed to “sleep when the baby sleeps”, sometimes your body is so dang used to being up at all hours of the night, it’s raring to go at 12:48 am. 

Plus?  When you are now outnumbered by kids, 12:48 am is LITERALLY THE ONLY TIME TO GET ANYTHING ACCOMPLISHED.  

That’s not entirely true, but when it comes to the non-essential, non-urgent tasks like blogging, it kind of is.  

And so I’ll be keeping this short, but I just so want to keep this space updated and make at least a measly attempt to document our days, these days.

Life with Silas has been so sweet thus far.  He is a great baby, which, we are well aware could change at a moments notice, because that’s how babies roll – but we’ll take it for now!  He has started giving me a 5-7 hour stretch of sleep at night.  (I KNOW.)  And so truthfully, I’m actually feeling pretty normal for having a 2 week old baby.  When I say normal I still mean the kind of normal that involves having your boobs function as an open bar and the fact that I’m still only averaging 1 shower every three days, but that’s the thing with parenthood, it’s surprising how quickly you can adapt to a new normal all over again.

The other two kids are so sweet with him and the transition of adding him to our family has been really smooth for them, for which we are thankful.  Ellie said the other day “mom, I wish you could have twenty babies, because Silas is JUST SO CUTE”.  NOT HAPPENING KID.  Zeke has taken on the role of a proud older brother like a champ and his current favourite activity is to hold Silas’ soother in his mouth – whether he wants it or not -and loves to call him Si Guy.  (Which he does in this ridiculously high baby talk voice that couldn’t possibly get any cuter)

I have been trying my best to soak these days in.  That’s the thing with having been around this block twice before- there are things that I just knew that I wanted to do differently.  One of which was to not feel any ounces of guilt for choosing extra snuggles over chores.  Or for sitting on my butt instead of tackling a task.  These newborn days really are so fleeting, and it really is a big deal to birth a baby, and I wanted to honour those two facts more this time.  To give my body permission to rest well, recover well and not feel any urgency to “get back to it”.   And to hold my baby more than ever.  They only smell like a newborn for so long.  Their breath only smells of sweet milk for a while.  The folds in the crooks of their neck can’t ever be over-kissed, and they just grow and grow.  And so while yes, life is busy with three kids.  And while yes, life kind of has to carry on as normal with schedules, and school pick ups and meals to be made, etc.  I am finding pockets of time where it’s just me and him.  And his soft cheeks, and wrinkly toes, and sweet smelling head.  And it is oh so sweet.





Silas David Bokma.  Born May 13, at 10:44 in the morning and weighing 8 lbs 3 oz.  (The smallest of our babies!)

He came fast and furiously into this world, and while different than my other births (no time for a pool!) still so incredible and meaningful.  We are all doing well and are healthy, and I can’t wait to share more of him on this space.  


My Floors Have Apparently Never Been Cleaner

You know what happens when you’re on day 10 of mat leave and no baby in sight?  You clean.  And then you clean again, and then you put your feet up and revel in your clean house.

And then the NEXT day, after your kids have spent a day coming in and out of the backyard because it’s FINALLY nice enough to play outside in the dirt, you lament that there was actually no point in cleaning the floors the day before.  But then you remind yourself that if you really are going to have a home birth, and then a newborn,  you really DO want to have clean floors, and so a few days later you do it all over again.

It’s an exercise in futility really.

So here I sit, still very much pregnant, and not terribly surprised by that fact.  I’m 9 days over, and if I DID have a baby by now, it would be my earliest baby to date, so this is a zone I know well.  And while, yes I have had more time to clean and organize (time that I am actually SO very grateful for), it has also been a sweet few weeks of extra time with Zeke (we have reduced his day care to just 2 days a week until the end of June), seeing friends and family more, and making meals for our freezer.  

Sometimes, I think we don’t realize how full our lives are until we are gifted with some extra time off, and that is what I have been handed while we wait.

I am so very excited to meet this baby, but these days have certainly been sweet.  

Here is hoping that the next time you check into this space – there are adorable pictures of a squooshy newborn.

37 Weeks


Well folks, I’m officially “full term”.  And to that I say “ha!”  Doesn’t full term mean 42 weeks?  (At some point, I should probably at least acknowledge that there is a CHANCE this kid could come early….but for now, I’m fine to live in the zone of “we have a while left to go yet, so settle in and make yourselves comfortable”)

It IS kind of crazy to think that this kid could come at any time, or at least within the next month.  And just like with the other pregnancies, we have reached the time when we need to make our “if the baby comes tomorrow, what needs to happen so that we’re NOT screwed?” List.  

It feels like this list may just be a little bit longer than the other two kids, and at the very stinking top of this list is WE REALLY NEED TO SETTLE ON A NAME.  It will come, but if this kid really DID come tomorrow, it would be nameless, so at the top of the list it shall sit.  

We have ALSO reached the point in the pregnancy where because we are planning a home birth, I am feeling the pressure to make sure our house is somewhat clean and in order just in case.  I realize that this part isn’t essential to a successful birth, but there is just something about knowing that there will be other people in all areas of our home that makes me want to make sure the baseboards are clean, you know?  (ok, I’m kind of lying, I’m definitely not worried about baseboards….clean toilets? yes.  Baseboards? not so much)  The unfortunate thing about this is that we actually could have 5 whole weeks left, and that’s a long time to be “on notice” for having a pretty clean house.  It is currently in a GREAT state – bathrooms are clean, floors are scrubbed/vacuumed and laundry is up to date.  I really can’t promise this will be the state a bunch of weeks from now.  But a girl can dream right?

We can also title this week “The week my body gave up”. With my other two pregnancies, by this point, I did have a bit of lower back pain, but nothing that was hindering in any real way.  This time around, however, I have some crazy lower back pain that essentially rendered me useless this week.  Last weekend after probably “over-doing it” with too much walking, by Sunday night, I actually couldn’t walk.  I couldn’t tell you if it was nerves or muscles, or both, but in any case, I ended up with crutches and did my darnedest to not have to walk up or down any stairs.  
I had some great chiropractor adjustments and a massage last Tuesday which was incredible.  By incredible, I mean that it felt like my therapist was stabbing me repeatedly with a super sharp knife for an hour – but boy did it work.  For the first time in 5 days I couldn’t feel my back or legs -in a good way, as in, the pain was almost all gone.  It was so encouraging to know that at least there was a solution to my invalidity.  
So, my back is still super tight, and I am definitely limping and waddling in THE most cliche pregnant way – but compared to last weekend, I can handle it.  (And I foresee several more massages in my future before this baby comes)  Overall – it’s pretty humbling to actually not be able to do certain things and have people want to dote on my all the time because I look so incompetent.  

Finally – in case we’re not friends on Facebook, or you missed the link – it IS that time of year again when all of you get to place your bets on who this baby will be, and when they will arrive.  Up for grabs? A $10.00 Starbucks gift card.  Just click the link here
As far as the insider scoop:
Both my other kids were pretty overdue (10 days and 14 days)
They were 8.6 lbs and 8.15 lbs and both of them were 21.5 inches.

Have fun guessing and bring on the next 3 5 weeks!