My Post Election Thoughts

For starters, let’s just all take a breath shall we?  I have really hesitated writing anything at all about this whole Trump-is-now-the-President reality we find ourselves in because it has felt like collectively, as a universe (or at least a continent), we got so riled up, we started talking before we started thinking.

Yesterday, scrolling through facebook, I was overwhelmed by the sheer amount of links, commentaries, articles, statuses and tweets that were being shared left right and centre.  This absolutely isn’t a judgement against anyone who posted anything, or shared anything – I had to resist the urge to hit like, share, angry-face-emoticon, etc, etc etc, just as much as the next person.  But just like in real life relationships, sometimes, you need to pause before speaking, wait 24 hours before replying to an email, and walk away instead of engaging in an argument.  Yesterday felt very much like that.  And while I know that it is well within my power to just not login to social media, and that I could have chosen to just step away from it all, I didn’t.  And so while I didn’t add my own two cents to the hurricane of it all, I certainly took a lot of it in. (as I’m sure many of you did)

Firstly, I found myself during most of the past 48 hours sitting in a seat of judgment.  It’s embarrassing to admit that, but it’s true.  I’ve judged Trump (a WHOLE heck of a lot), I’ve judged his supporters (probably even more), and I’ve judged on varying scales all of the clips/memes/articles etc that have circulated on how inspirational, motivational and true to my views they all are.  It’s an exhausting place to be in.  And I don’t think it’s what I’m called to do.   While I am absolutely allowed to disagree with so many of the actions and values that Trump exudes (oozes may be a better word choice here),  and while much of what he shouts from the podium is so un-Jesus like that I would be remiss if I didn’t have some level of holy discontent with him, the bottom line truth is that he is of infinite worth to Jesus, as we all are.

That said however, I do hold such a sadness for what took place 2 nights ago.  It is sad to me that money, power and persuasion win, and the prize is more money, power and persuasion.  And the “losers” often lack all three of those things.  (I’m not talking about Clinton here, either)

We shouldn’t be surprised.  I mean, we should – because HOW IN THE HECK did this just happen?  But our world is broken, and while things like this election shine a light on that truth a little more, nothing has changed really. As a follower of Jesus, Nov 9th, 10th and onward, should look no different for me than Nov 8th did.  Each and every day we are called to love our enemies, fight for the oppressed, and give a drink of water to those who are thirsty.  All this election did was remind me of this calling a little more urgently.

I have found myself thankful for 2 things post election: I am so proud to be Canadian.  Not because “we are better and would never do something like vote Trump in as President”  but just because, gosh darnit, we have it pretty good up here don’t we?  (As I revel in my year-long maternity leave)

I am so thankful that the kingdom of God is an upside down one.  If you find yourself reading this and aren’t a Christian, or don’t know much about Jesus, know this:  He came to break down power. When our world holds in such high regard those that have power, money and persuasion, the kingdom of God is one that says “God’s love for you is infinite regardless of those things.”  There is a hope and a peace for each of us because of Jesus.  The Jesus that sat with the poor, the outcast, the lonely, the sinners (read: all of us), the sick and the oppressed.  Those “losers” I referred to earlier?  Jesus calls them blessed.  They are of infinite worth to Jesus.

And so regardless of where you stand on this election (and really and truly, I have promised myself to stop judging anyone based on who they voted for), as the thoughts swirl around your head, like they have mine – fix those thoughts on Jesus.  Get to know Him if you don’t.  And if you do – than fix those thoughts on whatever is noble, true, lovely, admirable, excellent or worthy of praise.  Figure out how to live out his Love.

 

Sticking it to the Man

There are many reasons why I love my husband, several of which, I won’t get into now.  But one of those reasons is because he is pretty shameless fearless when it comes to interacting with sales people, and the public in general. Sometimes this does cause me to wander away, usually down another aisle of whatever store we are in until, pretending I’m not with him until he’s done conversing with them, and usually walking away with a much better deal than what has been advertised.    I seriously can’t believe the things he’ll get away with asking for and it makes me want to be invisible for a few moments.

This week, our local grocery store has had some pretty sweet deals on meat.  **It’s at this point that I should probably warn you this is going to turn into a responsible mature adult blog post about getting a sweet deal on meat…..Oh how the 25 year old version of me that started this blog 9 years ago would hang her head in shame at what sorts of things I consider blog worthy now.**   So, anyway, I come home last night with a few hunks of pork sirloin, some chicken breast, and 4 packs of ground beef and comment on how great the deals were.  Ben agrees and says we should stock our freezer, and clean out their supply.  He’s not wrong – I mean we SHOULD take advantage of this – but I say to him “You’ll have to be the one to do that – I’d be way to embarrassed to load up with that many packs of ground beef.”

(You can see where this is going)

So tonight Ben comes home and shows me this receipt

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 He was so proud that he saved almost exactly as much as he bought and said that this is his way to stick it to the man.  We also learned that when there is no max limit on a sale item, the unspoken maximum is 24. There’s a tid bit of information you never thought you’d need to know.   Take that, man.

Side note: If anyone is in need of some meat, I may know a freezer where you can get some.

 

Back At It

You know those daily memories that facebook sends you way?  The ones that show you pictures of your cute babies from 4 years ago when they weren’t almost 5 years old?  Today’s memory was about a blog post I wrote a few years back and shared on facebook, and so I clicked the link to re-read it.
I was caught down a rabbit hole of blog post, after blog post and was starkly reminded that I once loved this space. Writings that at the time seemed a little mundane, or pointless now seem rich with memories.  Things that probably actually were mundane at the time, that I never would have taken the time to journal about, or take a picture of, I now have noted somewhere to reminisce about the days, weeks and years that have passed.

It served as a great reminder that this place is important to me.  It’s not about readership, or goodness, even if I’ve taken time to edit each word (because YIKES, some of those posts had some rough grammar, folks) but that it’s about capturing the ordinary.

And so I’m back.  I don’t know what that means, or how often that will be, or even if I’ll stay at this web address. (Let’s be honest, it’s HIGH TIME to come up with something a little more creative than benandkarmyn no?)  But I am going to carve out the time to be here.
So stay with me, will you?  Welcome- if you’re new here! (I’m still baffled that people have faithful been reading, even with such long breaks), and THANK YOU to those that peek in here from time to time.  Say a hello and let me know you’re here.

Here’s to a new season of taking time, brain space and pause to make note of the life going on around us.

Sorry For the Late Reply

Oh you guys, this has seemed to be my MO the past 6 weeks. Every email, text and returned phone call has seemed to start with these 5 words, and while I truly AM sorry that I can’t seem to get back to people in a timely manner, I have also resigned myself to the fact that this is kind of how it is going to be for a while.

At the best of times, I am not an awesome cell phone owner.  I don’t love the insta-world we live in, and have always sort of balked at the idea of constantly needing to be attached to my phone for fear of missing a text or a phone call.  For this reason, we held onto a landline much longer than was probably financially wise (given that both our cell phones are paid for by our jobs…) and I still am getting used to needing to pull my phone OUT of my purse because someone might actually need to get a hold of me.  And yes, I do realize how old and crotchety this makes me all sound.

And now, since having Silas, free time is a wee bit of a luxury these days, and while I am aware that it really only takes thirty seconds to reply to a text, if only to say “got it – I’ll reply later”, sometimes that thirty seconds isn’t available until days end, hours after said text or email was sent.

So if you’ve received said apology from me in the past month and half, you can be assured of a few things: 1)My delayed reply is not indicative of how I feel about our relationship and 2) Yes, you probably DID just get trumped by a poopy diaper, or changing a spit up onesie.  (But again, let me assure you that I really don’t hold poop in higher regard that you)

While you’re waiting for me to answer you – you can just stare at this face for a while.

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Party of Five

It is currently 12:48 am, and my entire family is sleeping.  I should probably also be sleeping, but that’s the funny thing about having a newborn – sometimes your sleep schedule is so out of whack, that even though you are most definitely supposed to “sleep when the baby sleeps”, sometimes your body is so dang used to being up at all hours of the night, it’s raring to go at 12:48 am. 

Plus?  When you are now outnumbered by kids, 12:48 am is LITERALLY THE ONLY TIME TO GET ANYTHING ACCOMPLISHED.  

That’s not entirely true, but when it comes to the non-essential, non-urgent tasks like blogging, it kind of is.  

And so I’ll be keeping this short, but I just so want to keep this space updated and make at least a measly attempt to document our days, these days.

Life with Silas has been so sweet thus far.  He is a great baby, which, we are well aware could change at a moments notice, because that’s how babies roll – but we’ll take it for now!  He has started giving me a 5-7 hour stretch of sleep at night.  (I KNOW.)  And so truthfully, I’m actually feeling pretty normal for having a 2 week old baby.  When I say normal I still mean the kind of normal that involves having your boobs function as an open bar and the fact that I’m still only averaging 1 shower every three days, but that’s the thing with parenthood, it’s surprising how quickly you can adapt to a new normal all over again.

The other two kids are so sweet with him and the transition of adding him to our family has been really smooth for them, for which we are thankful.  Ellie said the other day “mom, I wish you could have twenty babies, because Silas is JUST SO CUTE”.  NOT HAPPENING KID.  Zeke has taken on the role of a proud older brother like a champ and his current favourite activity is to hold Silas’ soother in his mouth – whether he wants it or not -and loves to call him Si Guy.  (Which he does in this ridiculously high baby talk voice that couldn’t possibly get any cuter)

I have been trying my best to soak these days in.  That’s the thing with having been around this block twice before- there are things that I just knew that I wanted to do differently.  One of which was to not feel any ounces of guilt for choosing extra snuggles over chores.  Or for sitting on my butt instead of tackling a task.  These newborn days really are so fleeting, and it really is a big deal to birth a baby, and I wanted to honour those two facts more this time.  To give my body permission to rest well, recover well and not feel any urgency to “get back to it”.   And to hold my baby more than ever.  They only smell like a newborn for so long.  Their breath only smells of sweet milk for a while.  The folds in the crooks of their neck can’t ever be over-kissed, and they just grow and grow.  And so while yes, life is busy with three kids.  And while yes, life kind of has to carry on as normal with schedules, and school pick ups and meals to be made, etc.  I am finding pockets of time where it’s just me and him.  And his soft cheeks, and wrinkly toes, and sweet smelling head.  And it is oh so sweet.

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Introducing…

Silas David Bokma.  Born May 13, at 10:44 in the morning and weighing 8 lbs 3 oz.  (The smallest of our babies!)

He came fast and furiously into this world, and while different than my other births (no time for a pool!) still so incredible and meaningful.  We are all doing well and are healthy, and I can’t wait to share more of him on this space.  

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My Floors Have Apparently Never Been Cleaner

You know what happens when you’re on day 10 of mat leave and no baby in sight?  You clean.  And then you clean again, and then you put your feet up and revel in your clean house.

And then the NEXT day, after your kids have spent a day coming in and out of the backyard because it’s FINALLY nice enough to play outside in the dirt, you lament that there was actually no point in cleaning the floors the day before.  But then you remind yourself that if you really are going to have a home birth, and then a newborn,  you really DO want to have clean floors, and so a few days later you do it all over again.

It’s an exercise in futility really.

So here I sit, still very much pregnant, and not terribly surprised by that fact.  I’m 9 days over, and if I DID have a baby by now, it would be my earliest baby to date, so this is a zone I know well.  And while, yes I have had more time to clean and organize (time that I am actually SO very grateful for), it has also been a sweet few weeks of extra time with Zeke (we have reduced his day care to just 2 days a week until the end of June), seeing friends and family more, and making meals for our freezer.  

Sometimes, I think we don’t realize how full our lives are until we are gifted with some extra time off, and that is what I have been handed while we wait.

I am so very excited to meet this baby, but these days have certainly been sweet.  

Here is hoping that the next time you check into this space – there are adorable pictures of a squooshy newborn.