All’s Fair

This past weekend, I surprised Ben with tickets to the Royal Winter Fair in Toronto.  It’s a pretty big deal around these parts, and elementary school kids from far and wide all get to take a field trip there at least once in their school career.  Most people I’ve talked to, when mentioning that we went to the fair all commented “oh yeah, I went there once, in grade 4”.  That was my last experience with the Royal Winter Fair too.  Grade 4, with my class.  All I really remember was how enthralled we all were with how the cows and horses went to the bathroom.  It wasn’t uncommon to hear “there’s one! Over there! look it’s pooping!” scattered among the 9 year old conversations we were having that day.  I will forever have etched in my memory the first time I saw a cow pee, which happened to be at the fair, and very near to my head. The gallons and gallons of urine pouring out of this cow was quite hilarious to me and I’m pretty sure left me with my mouth wide open.

So, now that I’ve successfully spent an entire paragraph talking about barn animals relieving themself….perhaps we should move on hmmm? So where was I? Right. The Fair.

Ben has asked about it in the past, and since we had to be out of our place for a few hours on Saturday (another open house..booooo), I thought I’d surprise him with tickets.  I had high hopes that it would be as cool as I would remember, and I figured “hey, if it’s good enough for Charles and Camilla, it’s good enough for me.” 

So we went (with James and Christy, because anything is more fun if they’re with us).  And it didn’t disappoint.  I mean, the first thing I saw right in the parking lot (where funny enough, they were keeping some of the cows) was a big steaming pile of poop come out the rear end of a cow. Not a bad way to start the day if you ask me.

Here’s a few of the highlights for your enjoyment:

1) This little baby goat.  Seriously people.  Not much is cute than a little baby goat.  Except maybe that bulging vein coming out of my forehead.  That’s pretty cute too, I guess.195


2) How excited Ben got about this bull. (ummm, I think it’s a bull…I’m not so much with the livestock…sorry Dad B, I try).  He weighs 2200 lbs and is Ben’s new best friend.



3) The ridiculous amount of free samples we partook in. Here we all are cheers-ing over a 1/4 ounce of maple syrup.  I’m pretty sure in my every day life, taking shots of pure syrup isn’t on my “to do” list…but there’s just something about free samples that makes you throw caution to the wind….because hey! Doesn’t get much better than free!


Oh what’s that? You want a list of everything we consumed that was free? OK.

  • prime rib and yorkshire pudding
  • goat cheese curds and spread on crackers
  • copius amounts of pretzles dipped in gourmet mustards, spreads, dips
  • tea
  • carrots (yeah, that’s right. Some farmers were straight up handing out bags of carrots.)
  • Arthur’s fruit juice
  • Soy beverage drinking boxes (blech)
  • Wheetabix
  • Orange juice
  • bread and margarine (yeah, I know right? Just pieces of bread spread with margarine.  Dont’ worry, even if that IS the most basic meal….I still felt compelled to partake)
  • edited to add: a few tablespoons of  flour in a ziploc baggie…I can’t believe I almost forgot about this…

Oh, and in the category of “Things that weren’t really free samples, but my husband managed to get them for free anyway, because that’s how he rolls”:

  • Beer
  • Soy byproduct that you’re supposed to feed animals, but Ben asked to eat some of it anyway, so they let him.  He said it tasted like grass. 

 4) The world’s biggest squash.  (and yes, I know it looks like a pumpkin, just trust me, it’s a squash)


5) the Superdogs dog show.  I sadly have NO photo evidence of this, so you’ll just have to believe that it was a highlight.  I’m not really a “dog” person, but I’d probably pay at least $5 to see this show again.  Not so much because what the dogs did was so awesome (although it was kind of cool), but mostly because the dog trainers were hilarious.  See, they had to run alongside their dogs as they raced around these courses, doing their jumps and tricks.  And let’s just say these trainers weren’t so much what the kids are calling “in shape”.  So, it was really, really funny watching them try to keep up with their dogs. 

Also, there was this one dog, a little bull dog, who the minute he came out on to the floor, started head butting stuff and knocking it over.  (pretty sure it wasn’t part of the act).  Then when they finally calmed him down and convinced him to do the jumps, he would waddle his little butt up to each jump and barely make it over, scraping his underside on the top of each jump, and meander over the next one. 

So, all in all, a good day.  I would recommend heading down there yourself if you’re in the area.  And if you want the real in-depth experience, I’ll even loan you my husband, who will be able to tell you what you’re supposed to look for in a cow (vein-y udders people, that’s the key right there), probably score you some free samples that weren’t supposed to be free, and take cool pictures for you, like this.201


5 thoughts on “All’s Fair

  1. I must say you epitomized our trip fabulously here. You did fail to mention the flour James got as a free sample that would be enough to make a 1/4 of a small pancake….another ‘must have’ free sample.

  2. ALSO, HOW ON EARTH DID NEITHER OF US GET A PICTURE OF THE DOG SHOW? We must have been so enraptured that we coudln’t take our eyes off the trainers…ahem, I mean superdogs. You will forever have a soft spot for pork chop – also known as pot roast. 🙂

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