One Month

Well Ellie,

You are officially 1 month old today. (well yesterday…when I started this post it was the 24th, and then you woke up and kept me busy!)  Hard to believe a month ago at this time we were revelling in your newness, pinching ourselves that you were real.  It’s been a whirlwind of a month, whipping by and yet somehow has felt so long too. Long in a good way.  And also long in a not-so-good “for the love of everything good in the world, it’s 4am, go to sleep” kind of way.   But every single moment of being your mom has been a joy.  We are still learning SO much about you, so I thought I’d make a list of some of those things.

Things I do know:

  1. It is a guarantee that you will sneeze at least four times a day.  It’s usually more, and this never gets old for me.  You are dang cute when you sneeze and I hope you never outgrow this.  (ok, maybe when you have actual snot coming out of your nose then I’ll wish you didn’t sneeze so much)
  2. You know how to smile.  Like legit, I’m Happy And I Want You To Know It smiles.  You’ve been doing this for a while now, and I don’t care who tries to tell me they’re gas smiles, I know better.  
  3. You can scream like the dickens. And there are times when I’m honestly worry you’re going to damage your vocal chords, so high pitched is your scream.  But (and here’s where I KNOW I’m still in new mom bliss), I think it’s so cute.  Sometimes, instead of meeting whatever need you have, I just hold you up in front of me and watch you scream for a few moments.  
  4. You are most definitely a people person.  It is already evident that you don’t want to miss anything that’s going on around you, and this is SO not helpful at three in the morning when, just when we think we’ve gotten you to sleep, you pop your eyes WIDE open again.  I don’t get this. We’re sitting in a completely pitch dark room, with NOTHING to look at, and you still manage to find things to keep you awake.  That’s when I throw a blanket over your head.  So far it’s worked every time.
  5. You are strong. You’ve always seemed to have a strong neck, and have held your head up pretty well since the beginning.  When we hold you upright you move your head around until you find the exact position you want to be in. We have no choice but to comply.

Things I don’t know

  1. How our nights will be.  You have definitely kept us on our toes with this one, but we think things are looking up.  You went for a good couple weeks of just wanting to be awake from about 11pm-4 am and to be honest Ellie, that sucked a little.  Mostly because the only thing that would soothe you/put you back to sleep was bouncing with you on the exercise ball.  This gets real old real quick.  But I will say I’ve watched more Conan O’Brien in the past 2 weeks then I ever had before, so it wasn’t all bad.  Plus, even at 2 in the morning you are super cute, and if I was lucky, you would also sneeze and that made it all worth it.
  2. Why you get so dang upset sometimes.  If you’re fed, changed, and clean, shouldn’t you either be happy or asleep?  We’re learning the ins and outs of what makes you sad, and this is one big mystery.  Although I suppose if you were that easy to figure out, we’d be bored by now.  So thanks for keeping things interesting.
  3. Why I get so excited about your poop.  Sad, but true.
  4. How to keep the soother in your mouth.  Seriously kid – trust me on this one, you want this, you really do.  It’s a hit or miss endeavour so far – sometimes you embrace it fully, but most times, you either spit it out or gag in what I’m sure is just protest.  But when it’s in, it’s a miracle worker – putting you right to sleep. You suck that little thing like it’s going out of style.  So let’s work on keeping it in mmk?  (And I’m not even lying – in the time span it took me to write this paragraph, I have walked over to your swing no less than three times to shove it back in your mouth)
  5. How I can possibly show and express to you how much I love you.  I know this will get easier as you learn to interact with us, and then even easier as you come to understand our words and actions.  But oh little one, for right now, I just wish you knew how every time I kissed your feet, or your belly, or watched you nursing, or held your hands next to my face, or sang to you, or held you close that you knew that those little ways are such a meagre expression of how deep my love for you goes – but I’ve got nothing else right now.  

Happy 1 month little one.  

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