Two Years

Ellie,

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Good gracious child, you are TWO.  And I have put off writing this post for a few (hopefully valid) reasons.  One, being that I just had your little brother three weeks ago, and as you are well aware, our world has changed drastically (much for the better), and there has been way less time to put words on this little blog lately.  The other big reason, is because quite frankly Ellie, I am not quite ready to acknowledge this milestone of yours.  How in the world are you two years old already?

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And it is at this point that I’ll warn you that the sap-tap is about to get turned on.  I’ll blame it on the post-partum hormones raging through my body, but you and I both know that’s just an excuse for how I always am.  

Ellie, I unfortunately am both anal, and a procrastinator, which means that when it comes to you, I desperately want to make note of everything you’re doing and saying and experiencing, and then I just keep putting it off.  And that is why I haven’t written a month update in five months, and my goodness have you crammed those five months full of memories that I never want to forget.  But for the sake of the other readers of this blog, and for YOUR sake, who, I’m sure when you read this in many years, will NOT care that you first used the potty the Thursday before Thanksgiving, I will summarize a few of the things that stand out most.

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The first, is what I like to call “The Running Commentary”.  As in: you are ALWAYS talking.  You are extremely verbal for your age, and have been talking in full sentences for a while now. (See? this is what happens when I don’t actually write things down, I have to use vague, sweeping statements like “for a while now”) I have to chuckle, because you literally will just narrate whatever is happening around you, and it’s the cutest thing.  “Mommy brush her hair? Mommy, look, I sitting on the step! Ok, I close the bathroom door now – bye bye, see you later! Mommy brush teeth now? I brush my teeth too?  Mo-om! What this is? [it’s make-up Ellie] Oh! Okay! Makeup! I have some too?”  
I am probably to blame for this, as I talk to you just as much as you talk to me, and together we can fill a day just making mention of the things going on around us.  And I love it.  I have been given glimpses into that mind of yours, and what you see, experience and think about all that’s going on around you.  I hope, little one, that for years, you see me as someone who you can talk with, and share with, and although I know the day will come when you will prefer to head up to your room and talk to others instead of me, know that you can still talk to me, and share your running commentary, even if the events of your day seem trivial, or private, or embarassing.  And I’ll do my best to keep talking to you too.

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Second, is what I like to call “No One Gets Left Behind”.  Now, truthfully, you have kind of tapered off on doing this, but for the past 4 months or so, you literally would take as much with you as possible in your arms, wherever you were going.  When we’d get you from your crib in the morning, or after a nap, you would load up every single stuffed animal from your bed, and we would have to pick you all up at the same time.  And heaven forbid if one get left behind.  “bear! mommy, bear.  Get it?”  “Blankie! I need my blankie too! Mommy get it?”  Before you knew it, there was a plush, fleecy wall between you and me (or dad), as we’d try and navigate down the stairs.   Now imagine that scenario as we’re leaving the house.  I’ll be honest, Ellie, my patience didn’t always measure up to the amount of items you needed to ensure made it into the car, because you just needed ALL OF THE THINGS.  ALL THE TIME.  EVEN IF WE WERE RUNNING LATE.  sigh.  

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Thirdly, along with your running commentary, you have an “Ongoing Soundtrack” as well. You, my little girl, always have a song on your heart, which usually translates to your voice, and oh, do I ever love this.  This, too, has been going on for months, and it just warms my heart to listen to you sing (most often from your room, as you attempt to nap).  By now, you know all the words to all of the songs you like to sing, but for a few months in there, it was pretty cute to listen to you interchange between the Alphabet, Twinkle Twinkle and Baa Baa Black Sheep (they all have the same tune!!  I know I should have known this..but I didn’t!)   You say “dyno” instead of diamond (Like a dyno in the sky), and when we sing Baa Baa Black Sheep, you just can’t seem to sing “have you any wool” and it comes out “ha nu any nool?”.  And I’ll admit it, I will often start singing this song, just so I can hear you sing that line.  
You are most likely to sing when no one is paying any attention to you, and it’s the sweetest thing to overhear you playing away with a song on your lips, or be around the dinner table in conversation with others, only to realize you’re half eating, and whole heartedly singing.  
We have a Veggie Tales cd in the car, that you always ask for, but you call it “Pony tail”, which good golly kid, is cute.  You still ask me to sing Rock a Bye Baby and Jesus Loves Me before bed, but now, in your tired little voice will sing along with me.  This still remains one of my favourite parts of the day.  We can do that for as long as you’d like kiddo.   Keep singing.  Always keep singing.  

Turning two also brought the biggest change to your life so far, and that’s taking on the title of sister.  Ezekiel Winston joined our family on December 17th (a week before you turned two), and you, by default have had to assume the role of big sister.  You had a rough start to this role, but that was mostly due to the raging cold that you were fighting before he came, and after he arrived.  You were out of sorts, little girl, and you only wanted me around, which, truthfully, was a little taxing.  (I spent more time caring for you than our newest baby during that first week!)  But, you started feeling better and all returned (mostly) to normal.  You love “Baby ‘zekiel”, and are quick to put his soother in his mouth (whether he wants it or not), to burp him, and to kiss him lots.  

You certainly still have your moments where you just look me in the eye, and I know that means you’re processing some thoughts and feelings, and that look is instantly followed by a teeny act of rebellion.  I say teeny, because up until this point, it’s usually just involved throwing a toy to the ground, or stuffing ducky in your mouth (neither of which are terribly destructive or disobedient).  I know the heart behind this is to garner a bit of extra attention, or just to see how I’ll react, and that’s ok.  You get over your little bouts quickly, and Ellie – it is totally ok to not be sure yet.   You have a lot of big feelings to sort through, and truthfully, you’ve handled them with more grace that I sometimes do.  Being two is a big deal, and so I will do my best to welcome your tears, unnecessary wants, and outbursts with the gentleness (and firmness) you deserve from me. 

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Well Ellie, I need to wrap this up.  I don’t want to – because I feel like I’m leaving out more monumental moments, and milestones that deserve space in this post.  But I also know that you’ll likely not want to read a novel every time I show you one of these posts.   I’ve talked a lot about you in this post (rightfully so….you ARE the two year old after all!), but I wanted to talk about me for a moment.  Being the mom of you continues to fill me up fuller than I could have expected.  I know that sounds cliche, and like something I’m supposed to say, since you are my kid, but really, Ellie, it’s true.  I really didn’t know what to expect when we joined the ranks of parenthood, (and truthfully, was kind of preparing myself for the worst), but being your mom has been a gift I wasn’t expecting.  And so, yes, the reminiscent-sentimental-shmuck in me kind of wishes you were just a little babe again, (especially as I hold Zeke and remember doing all the same things with you)  but the Two Year Old Ellie is just as awesome, and you growing up just means I get a front row seat to watching you continue to grow more and more into the little girl God prepared for you to be.  

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Happy TWO years little one.
Love, Mama.

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One thought on “Two Years

  1. Absolutely sweet to read your blog, Karmyn, and to see the adorable pictures of Princess Elliana! What a doll she is and such a sweetheart! So thankful for the joy she’s brought many already in her little life!!

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