One Month

Zeke, (I can’t decide whether or not to give you your own bear, or the same one that Ellie used…so you get two pictures this month)
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You, my sweet boy are an entire month old.  (Annnnd two weeks, but we won’t talk about those ones until next month ok? Also, I promise not to make you a classic second child where everything in your life comes late)

I truly can’t believe we are already at this point.  Man did that month just whip by.  It probably had something to do with the fact that you were born a week before Christmas, and on top of the holidays, we just had all kinds of people who wanted to meet you, (who can blame them, really) so we had lots of visitors.  And before you know it, it’s January 17th and you’ve been in our world for an entire month.

And what a month it’s been.  Zeke, it’s cheesy, but true – despite it having only been 30 days, I can’t imagine not having you in my life. From the moment you were born, and we exclaimed that you were a boy (and I’m pretty sure your dad said “hallelujah!…but we’ll leave those details for your birth story), my heart was yours.  I knew all along you were a boy – I mean…I didn’t KNOW, know…but I knew.  And that made meeting you so special, because for 9 months I had been waiting for you, my boy.  (Boy would I have been surprised if you were a girl!).

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Having gone through the parenting of a newborn before, things were less new – but that didn’t make them less awe-filled.  I actually revelled in each moment of this month with you more, because I knew how fleeting it would be.  The quiet, three am feedings that were just you and me this month were sacred times as you nursed hungrily while I dozed.  I smelled your head and neck an obsessive amount of times this month and just revelled in your sweet baby breath.  (and lest you think you were always a sweet smelling boy…let me remind you about the gunk that collects in your chubby little neck rolls..but that’s probably more my bathing negligence those first few days right?)

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Speaking of neck rolls…you, my little man are a big boy.  You came into this world just shy of 9 lbs and 21.5 inches, and you have just kept growing. At your 4 week midwife appointment you were 11.8 lbs and 23.5 inches.  To put that in perspective, your sister, Ellie was 10.4 lbs at 7 weeks.  Me thinks that you will one day be her “big” little brother.

I didn’t think it was possible, but you are even more smiley than Ellie was at this age.  You smiled early, which, my goodness melts my heart all over again, every single time you did it. At 10 days old you gave us your first official smile, and haven’t stopped since.  I forgot how something as simple as your grin can literally make my stomach flip flop, but it does, sweet boy, it does.

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Also? You spent your first month being the EASIEST BABY EVER.  You are so flipping content that sometimes I want to pinch you just to make sure you know how to cry.  When you’re not sleeping or eating, you’re just laying there, looking around quietly and making eye contact and smiling with whoever will pay you attention.  And let’s discuss your sleep for a moment.  You do it! At the appropriate times like night.  I know that might seem like a no brainer, but let me tell you a little story about your sister…when she was a month old…she was awake from 10 pm until 3 am every.single.night.  So you’ll forgive me if I am in baby sleep heaven with your sleep patterns.  At less than 2 weeks old you gave us your first 5 hour stretch at night, and then you just kept doing it! (by now we’re up to a 6-7 hour stretch…but we won’t talk about that until month 2, like I promised)    And after you eat at night, you just fall back to sleep.  No rocking, ssshh-ing, or bouncing on an exercise ball. (those last 5 words hold more significance than you’ll ever know).   I am not naive enough to think that there won’t be trouble ahead, and you and I both know that at any point you could throw us a curve ball and host an all night party…but for now, we will bask in the reality that is our night time sleep.

Well, Zeke, I need to wrap this up.  But not with out taking note of one more thing.  You are definitely a baby that likes to be near us, and have spent a lot more time in our bed at night than Ellie did.  Chalk it up to me being more comfortable nursing laying down, and you just being new enough to sleep between us, but whatever the reason, you have spent more nights in our bed, than in your own crib beside us, and little man, I am not complaining.  There are so many nights when I’ll wake up to find your face nuzzled as close to mine as you can possible make it.  Even though I’ve started you on your back, right between dad and I, you will find a way to roll a bit and get as close to me as possible. It’s these moments (even if it’s in the wee hours of the morning), that make my heart swell up the biggest.  I inch towards you, nuzzling my nose into the nook where your nose meets your face and just be with you. Something that I remember feeling with Ellie, and I certainly do with you too, is feeling inadequate in being able to express to you how much I love you.  Aside from feeding you and kissing your cheeks a million times over, there isn’t much I can do to show you my love yet – but it’s in those moments when my face touches yours that I think you’ve given me one more way to show you how present I am for you. And I hope that your one month little mind can grasp how safe and secure and loved you are in our family.

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Happy One Month Ezekiel.

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