Hey sweet boy,
Welcome to my blog. You are currently 15 months old and well kiddo, I hate to say it, but this is the first letter you’ve received from me here. There are so many factors for why this is the case, the biggest one being because I don’t actually blog anymore (much to my dismay)
There are ALSO several factors to why THAT is the case, the primary one being that YOU NOW EXIST AND I HAVE NO FREE TIME. Kind of a catch-22 really. I so often lament the fact that I’ve let this space die a little bit, and that I have far less documentation of the little things that I’m afraid I’ll forget about you if I don’t note them down here. But the fact that I’m busy taking you in, enjoying who you are, and well, just doing this thing called life with three kids 5 and under, is WHY I’ve let this space die a little bit.
And so, tonight, I find myself with a sliver of time and quiet, and figured writing you was a good way to spend that time. Your monthly letters DO exist – just not on here (yet) and so tonight, I figure I’ll just start with today and let you know how you being the 15 month version of you is so incredibly awesome.
Silas, these nights you have kind of protested going to bed. (My oh my has THAT ever been a theme in your little life). You are usually pretty good about grabbing your elephant, rolling over and going to sleep but the past few weeks you wail and wail. And so we have a little routine these nights kiddo that if I’m being honest, I hope will keep going just a little while longer. After I put you to bed for the first time and leave you for a bit, I’ll head back in and grab you just one more time. We sit in the rocking chair in the dim-light of your room and just kind of be.
You contentedly sit on my lap, facing me and your little fingers just explore my face. Then you’ll lean your forehead into mine and just stay that way for a while. And then you’ll find a little burst of energy and pop your head up and go “eeenh?” and point furiously at something. I gently say “No kiddo, it’s time for sleeping” and you happily oblige and gently find my face again.
I’ll sing to you a little bit and you grin and grin (my oh my has that ALSO been a theme of your little life) and you’ll raise your hands above your head. I’m not entirely sure why, except that I think you just think every song has actions that must involve this movement at some point. Itsy Bitsy Spider is your personal favourite and you dance and put your little fingers together excitedly.
And then it’s back to resting on me and just being near me again.
Silas, having done this baby thing a few times before, I know just how fleeting it is. And I know that you seem older than you really are, because you just seem so BIG these days. But having been here twice already, I know that you really are still a little baby, and you are my little baby and well, I’ll happily partake in “round two” of bedtime for just a little bit longer.
So, there you have it. It may just be one little memory, and I’m sure there are hundreds that I have hoped to remember that have left the sieve of a brain that I have these days, but Si-guy, you have to know that whether I can remember them all or not, I absolutely take them all in.
You are a gift of the best kind.